Forgiveness at Christmas – 7 Steps to Letting Go

While we all love festive fun, we also know how fraught Christmas around the dinner table can be; From petty squabbles to deep unresolved wounds.

In either case, when it comes to fully letting go, forgiveness plays a key role. Particularly as blame really does equal pain, unless of course you’re an injury lawyer! However, whatever your situation, applying the following steps can resolve it all so you can give yourself the greatest gift of moving forward this New Year to enjoy life in abundance.

7 Pivotal Steps; How to forgive

1. “Fully” Understand the Situation & Other Party Involved

Do you know ALL the circumstances? Question what might have happened or is happening to cause them to do as they did or behave in a certain way toward you? Can you really step into their shoes for a moment and ask how you’d respond?

Sometimes you need to play the therapist in order to step back and distance yourself from the heat of the situation in order to take off the emotional charge; allowing you to fully understand and help others. Essentially if you were an objective by stander observing the situation, how would you be thinking? Does the other person need help and support rather than resentment, contempt and conflict? Or Do they perhaps need to understand themselves before they will ever meet your needs? Do they need to personally evolve before aligning with your level of thinking?

2. Distinguish Intention from Behaviour

Rather than focusing on whatever has been said or whatever behaviour has been displayed (although this doesn’t necessarily make it right!), focus on the positive intention behind it.
For example, there’s always a reason for everything, you just have to become aware of it in order to understand it.

Often people say or do things to protect themselves or others. Sometimes they are affected by the very same thing that has affected you (from issues of projection to abuse multiple transference – essentially transferring their issues onto you because they don’t know how else to deal with them, other than act them out as their release). Always find out their core intention.

3. Choose to Forgive For Your Own Protection

Any conflict seriously manifests negative emotion, induces destructive behavioural patters and simply blocks positive energy; So do it for you!

Value yourself and know you deserve better. In not forgiving you are just letting the other person triumph in further limiting your life.

There’s no greater self-satisfaction than feeling the liberation and empowerment to say “whatever” – “I understand and I forgive you”.

Sometimes it’s just necessary to accept that the other person is probably unable to even understand or forgive themselves or articulate the desired response you’d prefer.

Moreover, you may even need to point this out to them, addressing it in a letter for example so it can be fully digested. They can then choose to accept or reject this, but in any case it has given you the chance to externalise and get everything out, protecting you from manifesting it all.

4. Take Control & Totally Own It!

It can help to look at your personal responsibility in any situation. Could you have responded differently? Could you have changed the situation?
What can you learn from the situation? What new, powerful, unique, or useful resources or knowledge have you acquired as a consequence?
Focus on what you CAN DO and what you DO WANT. Being consumed in the problem will only attract more of it!

No matter how minor or major your hurt is and the specific content involved, the point at which you can actually show gratitude and be thankful for the experience needing forgiveness; Is the magical moment you will physically feel you’ve let it go!

5. Metaphysics and Humour

There are really only two emotion’s in the world – Love and Fear.
Everything else is just a derivative of either. For example, negative emotions such as anger, anxiety, sadness, guilt etc. are ultimately born from a fear of something if you dig deep enough. So, it can be helpful to deduce the reasoning behind your conflict in this way – What’s it really all about and can you align here? … What is it you or the other party may be ultimately fearing? What has to happen to resolve this fear? What is the converse of the fear?

Alternatively. you can flip the conflict and chose to be on the side of love by creating a humorous take on the situation. This can dissolve certain issues, bring parties together and allow for forgiveness because the positive derivative of love will always powerfully outweigh the negatives, if you allow for this by flipping the fear cycle.

6. Reallocate the Energy Spent on Conflict

Avoid giving the conflict your energy. This is majorly draining and will only leave you feeling more frustrated, fatigued and resentful – Not allowing for forgiveness.
Rather reallocate your energy by doing the things that make you feel joyful, abundant and amazing.

Surround yourself by similar people and let this positive vibrant energy over power, superseding everything to create an exhilarating zest for life! If you are happy. Truly fulfilled and feel loved in yourself, any conflicts will prove superfluous in your life; making it easy to forgive. Remember whatever chain of events have occurred in life, they ALL contribute to formulating “you” and “your choices” that have ultimately led to the wonderful life “you’ve created”.

Plus, you’ll always attract more of wherever you place your wholehearted energy and attention.

7. Embrace Your Wisdom and Kindness In Forgiveness

It’s an old cliché to “be the bigger person” but it’s bang-on true!
Embrace and acknowledge the great, dignified person you are in having the level of thinking to enable forgiveness; It’s never an easy task and takes a strong positive mindset to get to this point.
However, when you can apply all the points above and look back to see only “An Experience” without the attached negative emotion; Is the point any such experience merely becomes “Wisdom”, as well as forgiveness depicting the special attribute of “Inner Strength and kindness”.

On that note, Happy Festive Holidays and Phenomenal New Year of Immense Positive Change!

5 Psychological Fundamentals to Help Keep Any New Year’s Resolution…

1. Create A Strong and Compelling Enough Motivation

We all need motivation to do anything, so knowing your purpose and ensuring this is compelling enough to keep you motivated is key. For example, if you’re losing weight, for what ultimate purpose are you doing this? Make this compelling and purposeful enough to really drive you.

2. Where’s your Focus Directed?

Although we’re all motivated in different ways, some of us by a carrot, some by a stick, and others a bit of both; this subsequently causes us to focus in a certain way. However, if we turn our attention to what we ‘really want’ rather than what we ‘don’t want’, achieving any goal becomes so much easier because we become focussed on that particular outcome. The nervous system also tends to respond and manifest what we focus on. This then directs the mind and body to act and behave accordingly – Giving rise to the metaphysical body whereby the mind is simply reflected in our health and well-being!

For instance, taking the example of weight loss, rather than focussing on not wanting to be a plus size, getting T2 diabetes, or feeling unhappy and down about yourself etc. focus instead on wanting to be slim, healthy, happy, and well. This will then focus your mind in a much more positive direction, and what the mind properly focus’ on, we attract more of – This is referred to as The Law of Attraction, we attract what we deep down believe and focus on, scientifically speaking in line with quantum physics… it’s worth paying attention to, as is the metaphysical body in terms of mind body medicine.

3. Belief – Visualisation – Outcome

What we deep down believe, we so often become – a little like a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s therefore one of the most important things in anything we do to have a wholehearted belief that we can do something, that we can become something, and that we do deserve it. Although beliefs and values are deeply engrained in us from the moment we’re born, if these aren’t aligned with our goals they will always cause blockages and hinder progress, however they can be worked on and changed! However, to really achieve anything fully we must be certain in terms of having deep down belief and therefore having conviction behind it.

To help materialise this belief we can very effectively utilise the power of visualisation.

Quite simply, if we visualise anything with enough detail and clarity, the unconscious mind (the part that runs and sends messages to our body on autopilot) is unable to tell the difference between what is real and not real, but this must be detailed and specific using all our senses. For instance, through using PET scan technology, it is known that the same parts of the brain are activated whether subjects are vividly imagining something or experiencing the reality of it. The nerve firing and chemical release is so similar, powerful neurotransmitters allow the mind to influence the body in the same way.

If you’ve ever had a really vivid dream and woke up either laughing, crying, or physically stimulated in some way from it; then you’ve experienced this, and that’s the power of visualisation. On which note, if you visualise your end outcome with enough detail and clarity using all your senses to make it as real as possible, you can engrain this deep into your neurology and therefore focus your mind to make it happen.

It also sounds incredibly simple and perhaps obvious, yet so many people forget to define a clear outcome. Know what you are working towards, what do you want to achieve specifically? Again, taking the weight loss resolution, it’s great to want to lose weight – but how much weight do you want to lose? What are your bench marks? How will you know when you have achieved this? When do you want to have achieved this by? What clothing size do you want to be? Etc. The more you are clear about your outcome, the better your focus and chances of success will always be.

4. Release the pressure and expectation

Rather than making yourself keep to a resolution simply see yourself as having an outcome, and make appropriate choices along the way to achieve it – So many people see resolutions as rules, and the mind often see’s rules as being there to be broken!

More often than not, the more we tell ourselves we can’t have something, the more we naturally want it. For example, you might not give picking up a Mars Bar at the supermarket check-out a second thought, but if you’re suddenly told you can’t do this, the chances are you’ll have a strong urge to do it and your mind will be distracted by it.

It’s therefore important to create choice and trust yourself to make the best decisions rather than to place stringent rules and resolutions on yourself. Give yourself something realistic to aim for that you believe you can really achieve.

5. Have a contingency plan

If you still find your motivation starting to dwindle, give yourself a break. Who said a New Year’s Resolution has to be ‘all or nothing’ and if you need a little boast, it doesn’t have to mean you’ve broken it or failed miserably. The worst thing any of us can do is totally deprive ourselves and we all need little rewards and boasts, so actually lightening up a little might be just what you need to then refocus and get back on track as you were. Create little rewards for yourself when you reach a new bench mark.

It’s also worth having a degree of flexibility with your resolution. For example, if it’s to lose weight, perhaps if you’re finding a particular regime challenging or dull, change it – your outcome is still the same to lose weight and that’s what’s important, not the ‘how’ part of the resolution. Similarly, if your resolution is to go to the gym ‘x’ times per week, focus on your ultimate purpose for this… so if the gym isn’t working for you, find a more interesting activity that suits you and will result in the same outcome nevertheless.

In any case, there’s always more than one way to successfully achieve something, which is why it’s most important to always focus on your end outcome.

The power of Mind/Body Medicine… Health, healing and well-being

We continually see people in our practice with a host of different psychological and physical challenges who make amazing full recoveries when they have previously been told ‘once a certain way, always a certain way’ by other health care practitioners.

However, as practitioners of mind/body medicine this attitude leaves us bemused and our clients even worse off. However, the great news is that through an understanding of the mind/body connection along with the right support and action to go with it, there is so much that can always be positively achieved and focussed on…

“So what’s our physical health got to do with the way we think?”

Well the answer to that is everything! And it’s in no way exclusive to only certain conditions, dis-ease, or ailments.

Every single thought and emotion we have, affects every single cell in our body – That’s the mind and body connection. This is because the neurotransmitters that carry our thoughts, also bathe every single cell in the body thus we are effectively sending messages and talking to our bodies constantly, and without even realising it much of the time.

A familiar example of this is when a person might be stressed or angry and people consciously say to them ‘calm down or you’ll make yourself ill’ – well that’s actually true – it’s a classic example of the mind/ body connection, just as a doctor might enquire if you’ve been stressed if you have high blood pressure or are ‘run down’ if you have cold.

This piece of information is massively exciting and we would go as far as to say it’s one of the most powerful pieces of knowledge ever known to man (if it’s properly understood and acted upon).

This is because the way we think, the pictures, sounds and feelings we hold in our minds are reflected throughout our entire body and therefore directly affect our physical health.

A very small example of how the way we think affects our emotions and physical state is to try thinking of something sad whilst physically smilingand feeling good… it’s pretty challenging and that’s exactly the same principle with our health.

On the whole, if we think negative, we’ll feel negative emotions and then display or manifest them physically by either looking flat, crying, displaying negative emotion, and eventually, express this physically as ill health.

At some point you’ll have experienced this, such as when you may have been really nervous about something. It will have likely begun by you thinking about the situation in a worried or panicky way, thinking about all the negative ‘what if’s’, then consequently you would begin to feel worried, nervous, and anxious which would then cause you to behave differently (like forgetting your words, having mental blocks, saying something unintended, hiding or avoiding people etc.) and this would then begin to affect you physically, possibly displaying as nausea, shaking, sweating, headaches, shivers, butterflies, crying etc. and then you’d be thinking about feeling ill and the negative spiral would continue until eventually you had a positive distraction to break the cycle.

On that note, all health – good or bad, originates in some form from our thought patterns and emotions thus affecting how we physically manifest these. Quite literally our physical health reflects our thought process (from some point).

When too many of these thoughts or memories are negative, we then begin the escalation of various ailments or conditions. Naturally this is unintended because no one would consciously give themselves anything other than excellent health. However, the good news is that the more we are aware of this, the more we can do about it.

Personally I can give testament to this as I’ve lived with type 1 diabetes for over 22 years and from the work I have done myself, I’ve seen truly phenomenal results. We’ve also experienced this with many patients too across a broad spectrum of conditions and challenges.

The real key to all health begins with an awareness of the root emotional cause (the meta physical root) that has physically manifested either physically or psychologically.

Therefore, finding this awareness and engaging in various methods to let it go and re-program the cells in the body; can make all the difference when it comes to health and self-healing from deep within – which of course is what makes the real positive change, hence why we all respond to illness and the relevant treatments differently.

When studying the core scientific principles of mind/body medicine it soon becomes apparent that our outer health and behaviour is only a metaphorical reflection of our inner thought patterns; irrespective of whether we choose to acknowledge this or not – that generally takes balls and honesty with ourselves.

In this respect, when talking about something being ‘incurable’ or ‘inevitable’ – all this really means is that a particular condition can’t be treated/cured by outer medical means and we must therefore look deep within ourselves to do this from the inside. In this respect, if we are willing to change the way we think, believe and act; we can make deep positive change, therefore making the possibilities for full recovery, health and well-being truly infinite.

On that note, if you wish you can read about some truly amazing case studies documented in Mind Body Diabetes, Chapter 7.

Ditching Depression – The Top Six Essential Ingredients

Over the years we’ve helped so many people completely overcome some of the most severe and sinister cases of depression, even when unbelievably they’ve been told “once depressed, you’ll always have depression”… mmm as someone having lived and worked with diabetes for a long time, I can’t possibly think why that has a familiar ring to it!

Nevertheless, whatever you may have been told about YOUR OWN condition the upshot is that there really is no need to ever suffer continuously! This is because there is so much that can be done to overcome this debilitating, horrific and lonely state, that we refer to as depression.

As a clinical practice we hate it when we hear from our clients that when they’ve previously attended ‘Depression Recovery Groups’, they’ve been told “Although you’ll always have depression we’re going to teach you how to manage it”… well how bloody depressing in itself to actually be told that!  We’ve seen individuals mortified by this statement and even worse, nearly accept it; However, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

So the great news is, if you’re serious about ditching depression for good – you can! and here are some top fundamental pointers to do just that, also check out our other blogs on stress, depression and tips to safely avoid and get off anti-depressant medication;

Target the Root Cause

Even if we have to keep digging and asking ourselves ‘why or for what purpose’, it’s critical to get to the very core reason and root of cause of depression – and this could be something superficial to begin with, yet pertain to something years back that is either obvious to you, or even currently unconscious to you.

So get the right help and support for you, and find someone who can effectively assist in helping you to resolve and let go of this root cause and subsequent triggers, once and for all. Make that decision and commit to positive change for yourself, and believe you deserve to be happy as there are so many ways to successfully help.

As individuals, once we make a decision to take action, although change can often be a daunting and tough prospect; it will free us forever and allow us to positively move on.

It will also help to clarify many things personally and understand ourselves in a way that perhaps we never realised. It will then be a case of supporting this with day to day coping mechanisms that will help to readjust in ditching depression for good.

Create a Purpose and Make That Decision

We all need a purpose in life because this is our motivation as to why we keep going. If we decide or realise what our purpose is in life, or think about it carefully and create one that ignites a personal spark; this will dramatically help in creating direction and focus to kick depression.

What we believe we become, so it’s really important to get a good understanding of ourselves and what it is that really makes us personally tick. Make that decision to take personal responsibility for your life and that you deserve to be free, happy, and get what you want in life.

 Focus On What You Want Rather Than What You Don’t Want

Focus on all that you DO want and the things you CAN DO. Wherever focus and attention goes, energy follows, and you naturally attract more of it. On that note, if we focus on the negatives in life and all that is wrong, energy will flow in this direction and attract even more negativity because what we focus on, we get – in the case of depression, a very negative spiral!

It can sound so simple to think this way, but it is the way and workings of the universe; in effect, we live in a ‘yes universe’ in accordance with our thoughts and deep belief system. The more we focus on what we DO WANT and what we CAN DO, the more we’ll experience the results we want; so let the negative energy go! Whatever we ask for and give our full focus to, the universe says ‘yes’ – so keep this in mind as to where your general focus is. For example – rather than focussing on ‘treating or tackling depression’ as your focus would still primarily be on ‘depression’, Focus on getting well, being healthy, happy, and fulfilled.

Remember, emotions just transpire as energy… so negative emotion is just exhausting negative energy; However, we can change this by changing our focus and taking action.

Have an Outcome

Whenever any of us are working toward a goal of any sort, we need an ‘evidence procedure’ to know we’ve achieved it successfully. So how will you know when you’ve fully ditched depression once and for all? How will life be for you then? How will you know it’s not time to be depressed anymore?

If you imagine this so clearly, using all your senses and make this your focus … energy will flow toward this and you’ll naturally begin to move toward it and successfully achieve it!

Create the Right Environment and Network to Succeed

Our surroundings are so important in terms of who and what our influences are, what we perceive, and who we consequently become.

For example, if we are constantly around people of a low mood, negative energy or people who are of a pessimistic nature, we soon become the same or feel even further depressed. If instead we are around upbeat, positive, supportive, funny and encouraging people who are free of personal limitations, we will naturally feel inspired and encouraged, and this will inevitably rub off on us.

In terms of our environment, we can make this positive too by making it bright and fresh, clean and tidy, pleasant smells and uplifting or relaxing music, as well as being a comfortable and safe place to spend the majority of our time.

This is important because our environment also reflects how we feel. I know personally, when I’m at work – I like to begin with everything tidy and ordered to help keep a tidy mind (although that’s not to say it doesn’t gradually get busy with papers and mugs etc.), but a bright, fresh, tidy room is certainly a bright, free thinking, and tidy mind as far as I’m concerned.

Pleasant scents can also act as a good calming tool and even trigger certain good feelings too. Depending on our associated memories with certain scents, we can positively utilise this. For example, lavender incense can be particularly calming and might remind us of a nice garden or past memory etc., similarly cinnamon or spiced apple is often associated with Christmas and can therefore generate particular positive feelings too, or vanilla can be a sweet pleasant smell.

Either way, all such changes to our environment and those who we share it with make a dramatic impact on our psychological state. Such changes can help in lifting our mood and feeling more inspired to continue making even greater changes.

Generate Natural Endorphins (happy chemicals)

The more natural ways we can do this, the better any of us will feel, particularly because depression occurs and certainly worsens when these hormones are in short supply. Naturally boasting endorphin levels will help to feel more inspired and in turn our emotional and physical health will greatly benefit.

One of the most obvious ways to increase endorphins is to exercise, however when depressed, that’s not always as easy as it sounds.

On that note, just taking a short walk in the fresh air to go and buy a paper or a coffee etc. can help and it’s something to build on.

Just saying ‘hello’ to someone in passing can create a feel good factor, just as smiling and standing up straight, head and shoulders back can make us feel better (even if we don’t yet feel it inside, our physical state eventually affects our internal state and visa versa) – never underestimate how simply practising to do, or be something, can aid in feeling better – because what we practice, we become.

Also, although it sounds simple, taking a bath or shower and fully immersing ourselves in water can significantly help in aiding a feel good factor. This is because it assists in re-starting the emotional part of the brain via a temperature change, so a good shower or bath to freshen up mentally and physically is of great benefit.

In addition to this, if you dress to impress too, it all adds toward feeling better and aids in a progression in wanting to make other core changes. Taking small and simple steps begin to make a big difference.

Back to stimulating endorphins… this can be anything that we enjoy that’s a bit more physical or something that makes us laugh.

Watching comedy programs or comedian DVD’s can be a good start as well as talking and interacting with others – even if it’s only in a very small way at first.  Even if we engage with others on-line, such as positive and relevant people on social media or websites, this can help to re-direct focus, and provide another interest… and who knows where that might lead.

In a nutshell, we’re not designed to be alone, so any interaction can really help in feeling better. However, the same rules apply about this being in a positive context and environment – some on-line groups can be quite negative (esp. some health related ones… remembering what I said about where focus goes!), so if that’s the case, ditch ‘em quick and find what makes you feel good and positive about yourself!

Finally, in taking any of these steps, it’s important to reward ourselves and give ourselves plenty to look forward to because we all need a reason for doing something. Rewarding ourselves accordingly to act as motivation is important if this works for you (well that’s my excuse for a treat anyway ;-)).

Remember, life is for living and you’re just as entitled to do this as the next person, and more importantly, YOU CAN! Make that decision to positively change and get the right help and support to go for it. Life’s a gift and it’s generally up to us to get the most value out of it.

It might not always feel like it and it might not always be the most appealing one to begin with; but we do have a choice in how we respond to situations, the learning’s we choose to take and the meanings we attach to certain events; so choose positive change and know you can ditch depression for good!

Wishing you all the best in going forward.

Tips for Helping to Come Off Anti-Depressant Medication

First and foremost, if anyone intends to stop taking anti-depressant medication, be these standard anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, sedatives or minor tranquilisers please first read the following;

Immediately inform your doctor of your intentions and outcome so they can safely assist you in planning a safe and gradual reduction.

It’s exceptionally important to NEVER JUST STOP TAKING ALL YOUR MEDICATION AT ONCE, and without the relevant professional support.

This could cause serious shock to your system, just as taking too much medication can have severe side-effects when you no longer need it when you have reached full psychological well-being by yourself. The key here is therefore balance and gradual, appropriate, safe reduction. A helpful and pro-active GP will be more than happy to assist and support you in planning this.

 

Now that’s made clear, here are some important tips to help you in taking the steps to get yourself off anti-depressants;

Know your outcome, do you want to just reduce your medication or do you intend to come off them once and for all.

 In what (realistic) time frame would you like to achieve this and for what purpose – why do you want to come off them?… make sure your motivation is a strong enough reason to keep you focussed in the right direction and being pro-active!

Do this for positive reasons like wanting a good, healthy and fulfilled life rather than because you don’t want (x, y and z negative reasons – such as the side-effects/trips to the doctors etc.).

Having a positive reason and motivation will make it so much easier and quicker for you to achieve your goal, simply because ‘what you focus on… you attract!’ … So the more positive reasons you have to focus on, the better the results!

Be prepared to push through your comfort zone and tackle the root cause once and for all.

Confronting the root cause of depression and releasing it may seem really challenging, but once you’ve made this decision, it will be one of the best things you’ve ever done, giving you an amazing sense of empowerment. You’ve probably already guessed it will take honesty with yourself, commitment and courage, however the sense of achievement and freedom you will feel will more than exceed this and you’ll begin to get the life you want.

Be surrounded by the right people!

This is so important because all too often the people we are around, we become. You’ll need a strong, supportive net-work around you; people who will encourage you and help motivate you in the right way.

Positive and energetic people will help to create a sense of well-being and positivity around you that will help to inspire you rather than create a negative pull. So many people we have seen have fallen into the ‘negative social circle’ trap and unfortunately, such negativity breeds – this is no good if you are working hard to change things!

It’s also important to work with the right professionals too. These need to be practitioners you can get on well with, relate to and above all, trust; they need a positive, supportive and encouraging mind-set in order to project this onto you.

Always remember, Just because someone is a qualified professional, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are the right one for you. Or automatically good at what they do, and if that’s the case, they won’t assist you in getting the best outcome possible.

Make sure you talk to various professionals first, see them, visit them or read about their credentials, profile, and what they offer, look carefully at what others have to say about them and work out what feels best for you so you are most comfortable to get the best support you need.

Take Action!

There are plenty of good people out there who can really help you to let go of depression so that you never need suffer again. You can be free of all limitations and the things that hold you back in life, so let go of any excuses and work out how you can make this happen.

It can often be easy to look for reasons as to why certain things have happened in our lives, and blame others; however, the minute we STOP thinking in such a way and ask ourselves ‘what can we do about it?, what action can we take as individuals in order to cause a reaction? Things will start to rapidly and positively change.

Begin looking at what you want and look at what you could have done differently, or can learn from in going forward?

Decide now… choose to take control of your own life and make the most of it, refuse to be affected or dictated to by others because of their own limitations! Once you acknowledge personal responsibility for your life, you will instantly become empowered because it means you have recognised that you can take action and do something about it.

Create and plan lots of positive distractions and focus in your life.

The more you have plenty of other positive things to focus on, the time in reducing your medication will seem to pass very quickly and it will be a far easier process. We all need positive head space and distractions enabling us to best focus on getting exactly what we want, so here are a few ideas that may also help;

  • Exercise – but make it fun and something you like

It could be anything from sex to zumba or outdoor pursuits to doing the house work to music – anything that’s active will do because it will create natural endorphins (happy chemicals) that will make you feel good (without any added side-effects!).

  • Find more ways to socialise

Make sure this is with good family or friends that will act as a positive influence. Make positive changes to hang around with funny, light hearted people that will help to make you laugh as this again will help to create a great feel good factor and laughing will again generate lots of endorphins too. A positive circle will always eventually rub off on you and act as a good support.

  • Watch comedy

 Watch comedy programs, DVD’s, live shows, listen to funny people and avoid unnecessary serious programmes, negative media or groups/forums, or constant current affairs (the news).

  • Get or look after a pet

If you don’t already have one, particularly cats and dogs can act as great companions, and are pretty amusing most of the time too. They provide a lot of love, distraction (good and otherwise) and stroking them has long been reported to help reduce stress. They can also help to ease loneliness.

  • Do something you really enjoy every day

Again this could be anything from having a sweet treat to watching a film, going to your local coffee or tea shop or playing a particular game etc. Either way, think about the things you enjoy and give yourself a little something to look forward to every day, no matter how small it is.

  • Reward Yourself for Positive Results and Mile Stones

Find a great way to reward yourself each time you reach another marker toward your final goal of coming off your medication.

Make sure this is something you really like, something that is quite a big deal within your means. For example, if you can, arrange to go away somewhere for a nice weekend or a fun day trip, a day at a spa, the coast, a season football ticket or match day, a day at the races etc. Either way, make it worth working for and save accordingly (a little a day can go a long way). This way it will help to keep that positive focus and motivation going.

Learn some effective Stress management/ release techniques

Do this preferably before beginning this process of reduction. This way it will assist you so you’re prepared to cope with what general life has to offer, without the need for relaying on medication.

Avoiding or confronting the root cause of what stresses you out is even better but in any case you’d be best to avoid any unnecessary panic over the withdrawal of anti-depressants, so being prepared will hold you in great stead.

There are many good stress reduction and release techniques that a good hypnotherapist, NLP coach, therapist or such like practitioner will be able to share with you so you can be extra prepared and get off to an easy and successful start!

Overall, remember to focus on the things YOU CAN DO and the things YOU DO HAVE in your life.

Give yourself positive internal dialogue – give yourself a break and tell yourself that you can do this.

Remember to keep in mind your personal reason for doing something and let that be your motivation – have a strong, detailed and clear picture of this in your mind! Keep visualising the end result, what has to happen in order for you to know you have achieved your goal successfully? – will you have enjoyed a day at work completely medication free? or will you be travelling on holiday without any pills? What is your personal indicator to convince you that you’ve finally done it and have completely stopped the need for any medication?

Keep this in mind and it will always keep you focussed in the right direction!

There is so much you can do to have a great, happy, healthy and fulfilled life so please never suffer and know that help is there if you want to do something about it.

Whichever way you choose to go forward, all the best and well wishes ahead.